Timing

Last night, I spent some time with a wonderful man I used to date who I have not seen in over two years.  Our relationship did not end well, and we now live several states apart.  However, last night he was in my little city with two of his friends and invited me out.

He is a wonderful guy, and although our relationship ended messily, it taught me a lot.  Last night got me thinking about it, and also brought some clarity and closure.

I certainly underestimated the importance of timing in our relationship, and I think I underestimate it frequently in all sorts of circumstances.  There are so many circumstances and variables that contribute to the success of relationships and situations in general, time being one of them.  I think that God allows things to happen at the time he wants them to, however I often push for things I want, even if they're not working out at the time.  I feel that I did that in the aforementioned relationship, I wanted to be with him so badly that even though it was obvious it was not the right time.  I became so focused on being with him that I got tunnel vision, which is DANGEROUS.

The other thing I learned is that one cannot take care of another (as we should in relationships) without being able to take care of yourself first.  That sounds so simple and obvious, but it's easy for me to fall into wanting to fix someone, because I love them.  That's not a bad thing necessarily, but I often want to fix someone so that they can be capable of having a healthy relationship with me.  That's not my job, and it sucks me in, but both people in a relationship have to ready for it and healthy in and of themselves before they can have a healthy relationship.  Don't allow your love for someone to justify a relationship that shouldn't be.

Peace & love,
- Laur

"The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus"
- Philippians 4:7